so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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