And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
