with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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