At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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