I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize