Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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