I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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