so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
