The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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