found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
