Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
