what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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