He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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