That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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