I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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