Define "chronic" masturbator.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize