is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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