Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
