I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
a search helicopter?!
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
