Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
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I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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