I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
