Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
