she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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