sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize