You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
