I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
