The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
