he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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