I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
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Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
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Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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