I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
another moral hangover. fuck.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
why is half of my head shaved?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
