capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
She even gives head with a lisp.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
