Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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