If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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