North Korea, Best Korea!
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
