omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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