And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
