the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
