Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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