I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I am one with the molecules
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
