It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
