I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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