false alarm. still invincible.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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