The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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