He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
