sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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