i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
