The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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