I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
