She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
