Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
