so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
