I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
How does it feel to date your dad?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
