Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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