Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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