so that wasnt chicken after all
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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